Living Well and Healthy, Part 16

Overcome Your Anger Positively.  As Healthwise advises, you can express your anger in healthy ways:

• Count to 10 or practise some form of mental relaxation.  When you have calmed down, you will be better able to discuss the conflict rationally.
• Try screaming or yelling in a private place, not at other people.
• Go for a short walk or jog.
• Talk about your anger with a friend.
• Draw or paint to release the anger, or write it in a journal.

Here are some more practical tips from Healthwise on dealing with your anger.

• Use “I” statements, not “you” statements, to discuss your anger.  Say “I feel angry when my needs are not being met,” instead of “You make me mad when you are so inconsiderate.”
• If you are angry with someone, listen to what the other person has to say.  Try to understand his or her point of view.
• Forgive and forget.  Forgiving helps lower blood pressure and ease muscle tension so you can feel more relaxed.

Anger and disagreements are normal parts of healthy relationships.  However, anger that leads to threats or violence, such as hitting or hurting, is not normal or healthy.  Physical, verbal, or sexual abuse is not an acceptable part of any relationship.  There is no excuse for it, and it is not your fault.  Nobody deserved to be abused.

Violent behavior is a common problem.  It often begins with verbal threats or relatively minor incidents, but over time it can become more serious, involving physical harm.  Abuse occur when someone attacks you with words, objects, hands, or fists.  Abuse usually happens when one person tries to control another person.  Abusive behavior is destructive and dangerous.

Children are also affected by abuse.  They may feel scared and ashamed, or think that they caused the problem.  Violent behavior is learned behavior, so children grow up learning that it’s okay to hurt people or let other people hurt them.  It is important to teach your children that violence is not a healthy solution to conflict.

(To cap our healthy lifestyle series, on Monday 15 July 2103, we will explain the important relationship between our mental and physical health. – J.P.)